I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
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