are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
