I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Welp...herpes.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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