why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
