i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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