I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
