Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
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