got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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