my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
