and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
We have so much sex to catch up on
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
