Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
PANTIES FOUND
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