How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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