Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
