At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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