Heybabeimwearingurpanties
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize