before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
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she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
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I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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