it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Randomize