I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
