I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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