I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Randomize
