ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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