It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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