Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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