The brown eye won't let me do that either.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize