3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
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this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
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Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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