It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
smell my finger.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
