i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
