Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
