he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
