Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize