he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Randomize
