You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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