you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize
