ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
How does it feel to date your dad?
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
