p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did I show you my penis last night?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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