i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
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