i was rollin on her like bob the builder
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
