Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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