My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
