My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
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