Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
where are my eyebrows?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
