member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
