Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
