glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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