Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
