I think I won the penis lottery.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
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