can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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