I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
