I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
