sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
All the doctor said was why
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
