Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
