So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
