I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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