What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
