it was like eating out sand paper
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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