Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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