This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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