omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
