Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
